A Guide to Traveling with Vampires
by Production of Punk
Summary: Bella travels a lot with the Cullens, doesn't she. Ever wonder what goes on? Please read and review!
1. Intro

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but it would be awesome if i did! x)**

This is a very short chapter but i think the whole thing is going to be a very short story. I don't even know if i should continue this so plaese read and review and tell me if you like it or not!

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I love the Cullens. Who, by the way, just happen to be vampires! Yay! Well them being so rich and all, I get to travel with them because…I guess they enjoy my company and want me to tag along- well it's more like being dragged along because I can never really keep up… but anyways! I get to travel with my favorite vampires, the Cullens. We've been to a lot of places and seen and done a lot of things- some of which were not so pleasant... So if you need any help with your vampire traveling needs, then feel free to contact me… Only here to help.

Yours truly,

Bella Swan


	2. Road Trip!

Chapter 2- Road Trip!

"Are we all ready?" Carlisle asked for the twenty second time as he climbed into the backseat of Edward's SUV.

"YES!" came the simultaneous cries of his family and Bella.

"Just making sure…" he mumbled as Edward started the car.

There was a minute of silence.

"How come Edward is driving?" Rosalie whined. "He drives like an old lady with a really bad back problem."

"This is _my _car." He snickered. " And at least I don't run over poor defenseless animals."

"That was one time! The damn thing should have looked where it was going anyway…"

"Maybe you should have looked where you were driving."

"Maybe that's why you drive like somebody's grandma!"

"Maybe that's why there's not so much road kill!"

"Maybe that's why you all should stop being retarded!" Emmett joined in.

"You killed an animal, Rosalie?" Alice gasped.

"A bit late there, Alice." Emmett chuckled.

"I told you. It wasn't my fault. And we all kill animals. Duh! We drink their blood…" Rosalie pointed out.

"Stop it. You all are scaring Bella." Esme scolded. She looked at Jasper who nodded and sent waves of calm throughout the car. It quieted down until Edward reached the freeway.

"Edward! Watch it! There's a car right there!" Rosalie yelled.

"Rose, that's like ten feet ahead of us," Emmett indicated.

His wife glared at him.

"Right. Edward! Watch out for that car!" Emmett agreed.

"Whoa. That's whipped right there…" Jasper let out a low whistle.

"Jasper, don't make fun of them like that." Alice reprimanded her husband.

"Yes, dear."

"You were saying?" Emmett raised his eyebrow.

"Shut up. It's not as bad as you. At least I can go where I want to."

"What?"

"Rosalie will not let you step foot into Wal-Mart."

"Yeah. That place is disgusting." Rosalie's face contorted at the thought of shopping at Wal-Mart.

"Rosalie, it is not that bad. I have been there before…" Esme reassured her daughter.

"Mom. Gross."

The car quieted down for a second. Esme rested her head on Carlisle's chest. He kissed her head and wrapped his arms around her. They closed their eyes, content.

"Bella should eat now." Alice pointed out.

"Yes. Time to feed the human." Edward agreed. "Where would you like to go Bella?"

"Just pull into a McDonalds." Emmett ordered.

"No! Bella can eat wherever she wants to." Edward argued.

Esme sighed, lifting her head off her husband's chest. " Moment of contentment over."

"Edward, just pull into the freakin' McDonalds." Rosalie sighed.

"No."

"Look! You're going to pass it! No Edward! No! Turn onto the exit! Edward!" Rosalie buried her beautiful face into her expensively manicured hands. Then looked up and slapped Edward's head.

"Hey! I'm driving here!"

"And you're doing a horrible job of it. You just missed McDonalds, dumbass." Rosalie snapped.

"Hey! There is no need for that kind of language." Carlisle intervened. "Now, Bella, where would you like to eat?"

She didn't answer from her spot in the front seat.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, craning his neck to see her.

"She's sleeping." Jasper said.

"She is so lucky that she can do that." Esme breathed.

**1) When going on a road trip with a coven of 5 plus vampires, bring sleeping pills.**


	3. Flight Trouble

Chapter 2- Flight

"Emmett, hold my bag." Rosalie instructed.

Emmett quickly got the bag from his wife and held it proudly.

"Why can't you hold it yourself, Rose?" Edward questioned while holding Bella by the waist.

"Why can't you let Bella carry _her_ bag _herself_?" she retaliated.

"She's human."

"And that's an excuse how?"

"I can hold my own bag, Edward." Bella agreed with Rosalie.

"No. You can't."

Bella sighed. That's what you get when your boyfriend is a very rich vampire who loves to spoil you.

They filed along with the other people trying to get on the plane.

"Can we not fight?" Jasper asked timidly.

"No. Not if Edward won't stop being inane." Rosalie snapped.

"Shut up, Rosalie."

"Don't tell her to shut up."

"Shut up Emmett."

"No! YOU shut up!"

"Don't think so."

"WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?" Jasper yelled.

An old couple standing near by, holding each other looked over, alarmed. The Cullens gave them a quick smile and lapsed into silence. A silence, which we all knew, would not last.

"You're making people think that we're weird, Edward." Rosalie scoffed.

Edward rolled his eyes. "I am not doing this again."

"What?"

"This whole bickering thing that we do."

"Well you if want to go and start shit…"

"Rosalie, do not even start." Alice rolled her eyes. She held Jasper's hand with her hand and her bags with her other hand.

Rosalie sighed pronouncedly. Emmett wrapped his arm around her slim waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

Edward and Bella did the same.

Jasper wanted to say "See? Isn't this nicer than arguing all the time?" but he was afraid that he would jinx it so he kept his mouth shut.

"It would have been nice if Carlisle and Esme joined us." Alice sighed.

"Yeah. Too bad Carlisle thought we were mature enough to go on our own and too bad he trusts us enough." Rosalie replied sarcastically.

"Rose?" Alice stated. "Why do you always have to go and make everything so complicated?"

"I'm just speaking the truth. The truth is never simple."

"We're going on vacation. It's no time to start being deep." Emmett smiled.

"Shut up, Emmett." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

He pouted, which was a funny site for Bella, and then pecked Rosalie's cheek. She kissed him and soon they were making out.

"Let's not get carried away…" Jasper tried intervening.

"Guys." Alice said

They kept going at it.

"Guys." Alice said a bit higher.

They were either ignoring her or were deaf for the moment.

"GUYS!" Alice yelled.

The old couple from before was staring at them again.

"Let's try to keep it a G-rated airport." Alice said. Then Edward leaned in and whispered to Emmett, " That old couple over there was really enjoying your show."

"Ew. That's disgusting." Rosalie wrinkled her nose. "They should find some other way to get horny besides watching me and Emmett."

Alice's face twisted with annoyance. "Rosalie? Isn't there a nicer, more tactful way of saying that?"

She made a show of thinking. "No. Not really."

They boarded the plane.

"Bella should sit by the window." Alice said.

Bella quickly moved to the window seat. Then Edward sat next to her and Alice next to him and Jasper next to Alice and Rosalie and Emmett sat behind them.

Before the plane started, Bella excused herself to go use the restroom. Unfortunately, when she got there, the plane started. She was already in the stall and began losing her balance, flailing around hopelessly in the little bathroom. Then she felt the plane straighten up and then it began to shake.

"Please do not worry, folks. We are experiencing a little bit of turbulence. It should be over soon. Please remain seated." The pilot calmed the passengers over the intercom.

She tried to get up once she had fallen but it was difficult. When she finally got herself back up, she fell unsuspectingly. It surprised her and she let out a little scream.

In a nanosecond, the door was broken down and Alice and Edward were there. Alice quickly burst out laughing when she saw that Bella had fallen into the toilet. Edward laughed too but quickly composed himself to help her up.

"How did this happen?" he asked once she was up and clean.

"I hate turbulence." Bella crossed her arms across her chest and resumed her seat, pouting.

**2) Never use the bathroom on a plane while there is turbulence. Your overly protective vampires WILL NOT hesitate to break the door down. And once they find out that you have fallen into the toilet, they WILL laugh at you.**


	4. Grocery Shopping

"I need to go grocery shopping." Bella stated when Edward was over at her house one day.

"Let me go for you." He smiled her favorite crooked smile.

Bella took a moment to gather her thoughts. "Stop dazzling me. It's cheating."

"How so?"

"I don't know. It just is."

"Well, let me go shopping for you."

"How about you come shopping _with_ me?"

"That is fine too."

"And you will not be buying everything. I will. Charlie even left me some money for it." She said as she got into the passenger seat of Edward's shiny, silver Volvo.

Edward just smiled. Bella looked pointedly at him. He put his hands up in a sign of surrender. She stared skeptically at him. "I will try not to."

"You better."

"Oh. A human. Very scary." He started the car and they were off. The trees, green blurs rushing past.

Bella pouted. "It's not my fault that I'm not a vampire…"

Edward sighed. "Can we please not go through that right now?"

"When will we go through that?" Bella asked desperately.

"Maybe after graduation."

"No maybes about it!"

"After graduation."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence and Edward took Bella's hand in his cold, hard one.

"Why do you want to become a vampire so badly anyway?" Edward broke the silence.

Bella pondered what to say but then decided to come right out and say what she thought. "Why do you not want me to become a vampire?"

"Do you really want to roam the world the rest of eternity in damnation?"

"You think that if I'm changed, I'll be damned for the rest of eternity?"

"That's what vampires are, aren't they?"

"Why do we keep answering our questions with questions?"

Edward chuckled. "I'm not sure. We both have points to prove, I guess."

"We do." Bella nodded. "Edward? Do you really think that you're damned until the world ends and maybe even beyond that?"

Edward thought about it. He always thought about it when he sat in his room with no one to talk to or nothing to do. "Yes. I do. I don't want to take your soul Bella. I don't want you to be damned. I want you to live your life carefree and happy."

"How can you say that, Edward? Do you not want me?"

"I do. This just isn't the life for you."

"Don't tell me what is or isn't for me." Bella was beginning to get a little angry.

He looked a little taken aback by her sudden anger fueled outburst.

She softened. "I _want_ this Edward. I _want _to be a vampire. I _want _to be with you for the rest of eternity. Why won't you just take me?"

"Bella, please don't make this any harder than it already is. Maybe, in time."

"_How long_ Edward? You don't know. I might be all old and shriveled like and you will still be this gorgeous teenage boy! I don't think that the people of the public would think that appropriate! I don't want to be like a raisin for the rest of eternity, Edward! And now," she sighed. "I am beginning to think that you don't want me at all."

The car came to an abrupt stop making Bella lurch forward and hit her head. She flinched and rubbed the sore spot. Edward stopped the car engine.

"Sorry." Edward mumbled and then he turned to face her. "Isabella Marie Swan. I love you. I want to be with you. I just don't want you to change. I don't want you to be a walking zombie. I want you like you are now. I wouldn't mind if you were a vampire but you still have so much to go through before you're actually an adult. I don't want to take those opportunities away from you, Bella. I want you to be happy."

"I would be happy with you!" she insisted.

Edward shook his head. " We will change you Bella. Just not anytime soon."

"After graduation remember?"

"Fine." He started the engine up again and they were at the supermarket in two minutes.

Bella quickly grabbed all the essentials and got into line with Edward trailing behind her. She was still in a haze when they arrived at the cash register and before she knew it, they were back in the car.

"Edward!" Bella yelled.

"Yes, Bella, sweetie?"

"You said that you wouldn't be paying for anything!"

"Well, its not as if I promised or anything. And besides, you were staring off into space and holding the line up. So, naturally I paid."

Bella rolled her eyes. He smiled and leaned over to kiss her, leaving her perfectly content.

**3) Never have a deep conversation before going grocery shopping with your vampire boyfriend. Said vampire boyfriend will trick you into letting him pay for everything. And then he will make excuses and dazzle you into not being angry.**

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**(Author's Note): ****You guys maybe wondering how this chapter is traveling with vampires. Well, I'm going to say that it is traveling to the supermarket with your vampire boyfriend. Don't look into it so much. Your brain might combust...JK!jk! reviews would be super duperly appreciated! D **


	5. The Beach

**Author's Note: Hey my favoritest readers! This chapter is short. Very short. In fact, it is so short that this author's note is probably even longer than the actual chapter itself! That's so funny, isn't it?! Well, I don't mind how short it is because I like this chapter a lot. I think it is cute. And it was pretty easy to write. It really only took me a couple of minutes but it's not the time you put in it. It's what you put into the time! ;D Tell me what you think! Please read and review! Emphasis on the please and review part!**

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If you are looking for a fun day under the sun, you might want to consider the beach…

Wait. That doesn't seem right.

The Cullens are vampires. Vampires can't go in the sun unless they want someone to have an aneurysm. The Cullens can't go in the sun unless if they want to give someone an aneurysm. Bella is a human and being so, she would be too cold if she went to the beach on a cloudy or rainy day...

**5) If you decide to hang out with vampires, it would be a good idea if you just NOT go to the beach.**


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